An Apology to Every Wasted Summer

The story of every summer is a pretty similar one. It always starts with an idea, a goal, a dream.

“This summer I will finally teach myself to play the guitar”
“This summer I will finally get off my backside and get fit”
“This summer I will finally get round to writing more, doing more, etc etc …”

It then reaches around this point in the year, early August, when the realisation hits that there is only one month left until summer will be over again. All that time gone; already wasted. The guitar sits in the corner, abandoned after two weeks of earnest practice. Trainers sit by the door following the ten minute jog that happened once. The blog that was started with so much enthusiasm, slowly gets forgotten about as procrastination and creative block hits in full force.

So many summers have suffered the same sad fate. “I’ll do it tomorrow, next week, next month …”. Summer offers so much potential and free time, and yet so little motivation. Maybe it’s all psychological. The goal always fails, and so effort is not put in the next year as the outcome of giving up is seen as inevitable. But there is still no drive to actually change the pattern of behaviour. A cycle of self-sabotage. Project after project doomed to die a sad, slow death from the start.

To all the wasted summers, I am sorry I didn’t put the effort in. I’m hoping to change my habits in the future, but who knows how that will turn out?



Safe Place

There is a place I long to go
A place where I can be
Within myself
A place to forget you

I want to let the waves
Over me, wash away
The pain – heal me

The softness of the sand beneath
My feet, a comfort
You could never give me
Only I could give myself

There is a place I long to go
My solitude, free from you